Relationships can be so hard. One partner wants one thing. Another partner wants another. Sometimes there are three partners, and none of them wants what the others want. Sometimes you don’t talk. Sometimes you only fight over text. Sometimes you don’t even KNOW what you want. That’s where the Zodiac comes into play. For those of you who believe that astrology has some bearing on your life, your star sign might be able to give you some guidance with your partner. Or partners, as it may be.
ARIES (MARCH 21 – APRIL 19)
Aries wanted exclusive attention of Aphrodite — and we know how that worked out. They need to be made to feel loved “like the only one,” or else they’re liable to become gods or goddesses of WAR!
TAURUS (APRIL 20 – MAY 20)
Tauruses are named after a bull. Bulls have thick hides, and horns, and are solitary creatures. They’re also randy as hell. So keep that in mind. A partner of a a Taurus needs to be able to get past that tough hide and get to the mushy muscle goodness on the inside where all the feelings are. Be watchful of the horns though.
GEMINI (MAY 21 – JUNE 20)
Gemini are the twins. That means two sets of emotions, two sets of highs and lows, and maybe even two different people. They have what you might call an erratic personality. They’re very sensitive, but at the same time they won’t cower and will go on the offensive if threatened. They need someone who’s empathic and will listen to them. Both of them.
CANCER (JUNE 21 – JULY 22)
Cancer can be very persistent, which might be a good thing, but they can also be moody and mercurial. They will dedicate most if not all of their energy into the relationship, so if you get caught in their love pincer you better do the same. They will be able to tell whether or not you’re phoning it in.
LEO (JULY 23 – AUGUST 22)
Leos are the lions of the sky. They are very generous and magnanimous, but they also expect the same in return. That means you better give it your all, or they’ll kick you to the curb. Leos are noble in nature, and so have a sense of right and wrong that they’re hardly willing to compromise on.
VIRGO (AUGUST 23 – SEPTEMBER 22)
Virgos are very loyal and dedicated to their partners. But they can also be shy and worried — worried that their partners are doing the diddy behind their backy. They’re very self-abnegating because of that too, and they can make doormats of themselves for their partners. If you’re a partner of a Virgo, don’t take advantage of their generosity.
LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23 – OCTOBER 22)
Libras can be very romantic and enticing, but they also have a very strict sense of balance and diplomacy. They also strive off good energy and good atmosphere, because they tend to mirror their surroundings. If you’re with a Libra, maintain your balance, cool, and your positive attitude.
SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23 – NOVEMBER 21)
Scorpios are hot to trot. They’re libidinous and amorous and all that and a bag of chips. Their secret wish is to have complete and total and unchallenged control. So know that going into a relationship with them. If you like more submissive roles, then get yourself a Scorpio. They want all your love and affection.
SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22 – DECEMBER 21)
Sagittarius is considered the journeyman of the Zodiac. Their sign is a horseman, after all, and an archer. So they’re a little hard to pin down. They’re always looking for meaning out of life and a partner, but they don’t always stay in one place to do it. They also appreciate honesty because they’re so worldly wise.
CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22 – JANUARY 19)
Capricorns are inherently independent, so they don’t ask for that much from their partners. But they can also be finicky and get angry. They’re down to Earth, and like living a quiet and understanding existence. They despise drama, and just want a quiet life. They cool with it.
AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20 – FEBRUARY 18)
Aquarius are what are known as a Fixed Sign — meaning they like stability, and can be stubborn at times. They feel at their best when they feel important, wanted, and needed. That means with a partner they want to be loved, and reminded of it. They also appreciate honesty.
PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 – MARCH 20)
Pisces are an interesting breed. They’re very sensitive, and can have rapid and raging swings in emotion and feelings. But they’re very good at keeping it bottled up inside — just like a fish. Fish do this. They should look for partners who can open them up (like you would a fish) and let all those gushy feelings come spluttering out.